I think I've always been very tender hearted. I feel things very deeply and powerfully, I just do. I always have. I remember thinking everyone cried as often as I do… and how shocked I was to learn that it was frowned upon to wear my feelings on my face when the tears started to fall. It is still a blessing and a curse, to feel everything so deeply and so close to the surface. Yet, as I grow up and learn more about myself and the world, it is one of my favorite things about myself. I proudly call myself a very emotional and emotive person. In fact, the last time I cried was a meager two days ago. But let me tell you, friend, that my emotions do not make me weak. My strong emotional side makes me a force to be reckoned with.
The photo for this post is a poem from the book Milk and Honey by Rupi Kaur. I first discovered her through pinterest, constantly finding myself in her beautiful words. I finally found her book and spent the next three days pouring through it, torn between devouring each page and savoring the delicious emotion in each word. This page in particular felt like my heart whispering in my ear. I have spent so much of my life being told I was too soft, too tender, and too emotional. No one could see how powerful it made me.
I don't know how to explain the confidence and solidity that my feelings and self-awareness give me. It is as if I doubt myself less when I know how I feel and that it is okay to feel how I do. I feel my feelings to validate them and give them space, and then I am in control. It's me in control, not my emotions. I think that is where it gets blurry when I try to explain this part of me to people. I am very emotional, but I am still in control. What a beautiful thing it is to feel your feelings and be aware of your thoughts and still be in control of them.
That's the key, I think. Is to be soft and tender, but still in control. I can feel my heart breaking when I see shelters full of puppies, but I can have the self control to know I can adopt one myself someday. I can feel angry when I am wronged and still be in control enough to love and forgive. I can cry in movies and I can laugh like there is no tomorrow. And I am still a strong, intelligent, and powerful woman. Knowing myself so well only makes me more powerful and it will never take away from the storm I aspire to be.
Rupi Kaur is right, to be soft is to be powerful. I will never be less because of my deep emotions. My tender heart does not make me weak, it makes me fierce.